Creating Wellness

Psychologically, spiritually, and physically

Dacher states “to become the agents of a more expansive health, we must begin with our own life” (Dacher, 2006). In order for a health and wellness professional to better teach a patient, one must first develop psychologically, spiritually, and physically in his/her own personal life. In order to be teachers for our patients, we must have firsthand experience of the learning process. If we are not ready to embrace integral health into our own lives, we cannot expect our patients do so. Incorporating integral health practices into our own lives, we begin to learn about ourselves, what happens as we evolve a more expansive life, we will begin to see that alleviation of suffering and the ascent of human flourishing are more than ideas, and gain more confidence in ending human suffering. Once we are able to embrace the integral approach in our own lives, we are then able to share our own experiences—thus making it far more personal with our patients.

Lately, I feel like my life is a series of dead ends and U-turns. It is like my life moves in cycles and even though I begin each morning excited and ready to start a new day, I allow all this mental chatter to totally ruin it leading me back to a place where I do not want to be. I feel I need to continue to develop spiritually and psychologically in order to better meet the goals I have set for myself. I have lost touch with the psychological and spiritual aspect of integral health, and I feel if I am able to shift back inward instead of constantly focusing outward, I will begin to start healing the broken pieces. Once I am able to start piecing myself back together, I feel I can begin to start getting back to the basic again—loving myself.

Assessment

            I try to assess my health in each domain on a weekly basis. I know that I am a work in progress and that I will eventually meet the goals I have set for myself. I do not like to measure or assess my health in each domain with other people because I know we are all different and have our own individual strengths and weaknesses. I believe that somewhere along the way, mainly in my youth, I learned to believe that I had to prove myself to everyone in order to gain their acceptance. Because I have always felt I had to be something other than what I truly am, I have lost touch with who it is I truly am. It is no wonder I am so far from knowing my true self and question everything.

              

            I would score my wellness spiritually 6 out of 10 because I am still trying to discover what it is I believe in and what all of it means. I believe in a higher power, but there is so much more I question than believe that I feel it is an area I still need to work on. I do meditate and find peace and harmony in doing so, but I do not really know if it is really helping me spiritually or if I want to believe it is.

My wellness physically would be 8 out of 10. I have followed a special diet since my diagnosis, but I have since begun exploring the vegan lifestyle and I am amazed at the amount of energy I have. I am physically active on a daily basis, but I feel I could allot more time for activities. There are days I just do not feel like working out or I want to sleep in, but I am learning to better motivate myself instead of procrastinating.

Psychologically my wellness would be a 7 out of 10, which is one below it was when first starting this course. I feel when I have quality time for myself and not so wrapped up in everything else going on I am able to see myself more clearly. Then there are times when I feel I have to stretch myself too thin and take on way too much than I feel is fair. I have decided that I am not completely satisfied with where I am and where I have allowed my relationship to be and it worn on me mentally. I question whether it is even possible for me to achieve complete satisfaction or if I hold myself to high of a standard.

Goal development

My goal for spiritual wellbeing is to try and keep a perfect balance of peace and harmony in my life to lead to optimal spiritual wellbeing. I feel it is important for me to really figure out what it is I truly believe and what the belief means to me spiritually in order for me to have confirmation that my beliefs are accurate and to then translate my beliefs into action and love. I know that I can be a spiritual person without being religious, but I just have so many questions that I feel I need answered before I can fully embrace spirituality.

My goal for physical wellbeing is to continue to maintain a healthy quality of life that ensures me and my family the ability to get through daily activities without any undue fatigue or physical stress. I want to continue to recognize that all my behaviors have a significant impact on my wellness and that continuing healthy habits such as a balanced diet, exercise, etc. and avoiding destructive habits will lead to optimal physical wellbeing.

My goal for psychological wellbeing is to continue to focus on all the positive things in life and remember to continuously create positive relationships, emotions, and to learn to love myself. I do realize it can be difficult to remember to be positive, especially when things are not always going the way I planned them to be, but remembering that life itself is a blessing will lead to optimal psychological well-being.

Practices for personal health

 

When we incorporate and practice all of the exercises that we were given in the past 9 weeks, we may very well have the opportunity to experience human flourishing; living a life full of great health, happiness, and wholeness. I always tell myself that life never made anyone a promise to be easy; it is our responsibility to make the best out of what we are given. Incorporating all of the techniques into our daily lives leads to better self-awareness of both mind and body.

            

 I enjoy doing Yoga, Pilates, kickboxing, and strength training. All of these help me release all my anger and tension I may be feeling. I feel these exercises are important to my spiritual, psychological, and physical health and will continue to assist me in moving toward each goal. I also enjoy writing poetry and short stories; these activities keep me relaxed and give me the ability to express myself not only creatively, but spiritually and psychologically. I would like to continue the Subtle Mind exercise because I feel like I can be so wrapped up in everything else going on that I cannot focus on those around me. I am an avid thinker, so I really enjoyed learning ways to quiet my mind. I of course also have a very busy mind, so I do struggle with trying to stay completely focused on how I want to make changes and ways to incorporate those changes into my daily routine, so I feel this exercise will be very helpful in my psychological wellbeing.

            

 Loving-kindness is a skill that is “our most powerful antidote to destructive emotions like anger, intolerance, jealousy, pride, and greed that agitate our mind and make it unavailable for further development” (Dacher, 2006). In learning to show others around us loving-kindness, we must first learn to show ourselves loving-kindness. I have always heard in order to truly love another; you must first learn to love yourself. Those that are unhappy with themselves are usually very unpleasant to be around—misery loves company. I am a very giving and selfless person who wants those around me to have nothing but complete happiness. If I can put a smile on the faces of others, it means the world to me. I often spend more time worrying about making everyone else happy that I often forget about myself. I suppose my way of loving-kindness is backwards. I can admit that I have grown a bit resentful of others that do not show appreciation of all the things I do, so this is an area I need to work on—starting from scratch—learning to first love myself.

            

 Skillful action is aimed to “bring an end to destructive knee-jerk reactive behavior by becoming increasingly aware of its negative effects on our ability to still and calm the mind” (Dacher, 2006). In other words, we want our mental attitudes, as well as the actions we take, to support our inward and outer efforts. Just as I stated above, misery loves company. If we keep ourselves in a state of misery, we will make those around us miserable. Misery will breed misery. If I continue to grow resentful towards others that I feel lack appreciation, I am the one who will ultimately suffer from that resentful action more so than the one I am growing resentful towards. In order to move forward toward integral health, I first need to recognize that certain actions will inevitably lead to certain consequences. In order to move forward, we must first stop doing what hurts us. We all need discipline and restraint in our lives because without them, “we cannot grow our inner life, we cannot attain integral health” (Dacher, 2006).

Commitment          

  

I have begun a new journal that I have been keeping track of my progression and what I feel I need to work on daily, weekly, etc. I have learned that in order to stop a downward spiral, I have to really figure out what it is I really want and who I really am. I am committed to prioritizing and focusing on those priorities and not allowing unhealthy thoughts and behaviors to sway me from my end goals. I am re-teaching myself to love myself again and to let go of everything that has been holding me back. Sometimes it is a lot easier said than done, but I am finding it very liberating to finally be getting my life back on track.

             

I have come to realize that I did not know as much about myself as I thought I did and that I cannot blame anyone else for the things that have plagued my life over the years. I have to remember that we all have a past and things that are beyond our control, but that does not define who we are and what we plan to be. I plan to revisit all of the exercises we have learned in this course and really figure out which ones are the best for me. In 6 months, I plan to be in a totally better frame of mind, body, and soul.

Optimal Well-being: Psychological, Spiritual, and Physical Keys to Health and Thriving

Review the exercises and practice sessions you have completed in this course. (Loving Kindness, Subtle mind, Visualization, meditation etc.) Choose two practices that you have determined to be most beneficial. How can you implement these practices in your personal life to foster “mental fitness”?  Provide specific examples.

As I have stated previously, mental fitness in my opinion is the concept of working your mind daily just as you would your body. In order to evolve or enhance our psychospiritual life and have access to its capacities and resources in our daily lives, we need daily practice.  All of the exercises we have practiced over the last 9 weeks have been very beneficial. I would have to say the most beneficial for myself was Subtle mind. I am an avid thinker and I have to to think about everything before I can react. I usually bottle up how I am feeling allowing those feelings to create an even bigger issue once I finally do release them. This exercise taught me a better way to deal with all of those negative thoughts by turning them into a positive. I am usually a pretty optimistic person, but I am not perfect and I do have days where I feel the world is against me. I guess we all kind of go through our good and bad, but learning how to better deal with those feelings in a more positive manner is always the best approach. I enjoy doing breathing exercises to calm myself as well, so this was another very helpful aspect of subtle mind exercise. I am still a work in progress and learning the different techniques to quiet all my mind chatter and put things into a better perspective has been awesome and extremely helpful.

The second exercise would be Loving Kindness. Loving Kindness usually comes very natural to me because I am a people pleaser, but I have been known to hold a grudge or two. When I am feeling those negative feelings, I plan on revisiting the Loving Kindness exercise to continue to work on channeling negativity towards others to more positive feelings. I especially like this exercise because it teaches how to better turn anger towards a person into forgiveness and wishes of well-being. I have always put others before I have myself and I can honestly say it becomes wearing as time goes on. It is very easy to begin feeling as if the same thoughtfulness is not being reciprocated and that then turns into resentment. I have to remember to not be so concerned with what others are or are not doing for me in return and consider their feelings as well. In learning to move beyond all my past hurt and fears surrounding people, learning the Loving Kindness exercise has really accelerated the process. In forgiving my ex-husband for the years of abuse, cheating, etc. and still wishing him a wonderful life was my way of moving forward and past all the hurt. I was practicing Loving Kindness years ago and did not even know it!

I really enjoy meditating first thing in the morning to gain that inner peace and clarity to begin my day and I also incorporate Yoga or Pilates for physical exercise to give myself the burst of energy I crave to get through the day! I need to learn to relax more and stop worrying so much, so I plan on also implementing a lot of the exercises we have learned over the past 9 weeks to better calm my mind and body.

Quote of the day:

“Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.” - Unknown

Loving-kindness and Integral Assessment

“Learning to let go should be learned before learning to get. Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it.” Ray Bradbury.

My daughter Audrey and Me being silly

I found the exercises this week to be very interesting and easy to follow.  I am an avid thinker, so I really enjoyed thinking of ways to incorporate and put them into play within my own personal life. I of course also have a very busy mind, so I do struggle with trying to stay completely focused on how I want to make changes and ways to incorporate those changes into my daily routine.  I have been in a really weird place lately and find myself struggling to find my way out of it. Loving-kindness usually comes very natural to me, but with the events that have unfolded before my very eyes the last month, I find resentment taking its home once again. Grrr! The thing is, I want happiness for everyone and I do not like to see others upset, hurt, angry, etc.—so I am always putting their feelings and happiness in front of my own. Not the greatest habit, but as I have stated previously, I am nowhere near perfect. I believe being the constant “go to” girl when someone is having an issue or needs something done has really taken its toll on me mentally. I am normally a fairly focused person, but I have been finding it difficult lately. My mind is a total cluster, so I feel I really need more work on how to calm my mind. I want to continue be there for others, but I have to learn to stop taking responsibility for everything. I really enjoy meditating first thing in the morning to gain that inner peace and clarity to begin my day and I also incorporate Yoga or Pilates for physical exercise to give myself the burst of energy I crave to get through the day! I just bought a treadmill, so I have been running on it for 30 min every other day to keep up my cardio. I am trying to get my daughter more involved in things, so I have had her do some of the exercises with me (once we get past the giggling). She actually enjoys doing them with me and wants to learn how to meditate. She is a lot like me being she does not want to see others hurt, so she bottles up all her feelings to avoid hurting others. I believe incorporating these exercises in her life will also be a great experience for her.

Loving Kindness

Describe your experience. Did you find it beneficial? Difficult? Why or why not? Would you recommend this to others? Why or why not?

I really found the waves relaxing as if I was actually sitting on a beach. I often find these sounds very relaxing and comforting. I self-reflect a lot, so I found this exercise to be much easier than the first exercise. I am still not quite comfortable on the voices, but it was not as bad as the first one. I have been doing a lot of self-reflecting lately, especially within my relationship. Due to my habit of bottling my feelings and emotions, I have allowed resentment back into my life and plague my relationship. It was nice to be able to reflect on this in a more positive way and release all those negative feelings. I did feel a tremendous load was lifted off my shoulders. I am a thinker; I have to think about everything. I often feel I over-think things a lot and as a result I allow negative thoughts and feelings into my life. I have always been a very passive person and as a result I have allowed others to walk all over me. I find happiness in doing for others before I do myself, but overtime I have realized it has really taken away from my self-confidence and self-esteem. I have a big heart, so when somebody's actions hurt me, I automatically take responsibility so they do not get hurt. I have learned by doing this, I am only hurting myself. I am really thankful for this class and learning more exercises to help bring me to a better overall mind and body!

What is the concept of "mental workout"? What does the research indicate are the proven benefits of a mental workout? How can you implement mental workouts to foster your psychological health?

Mental workout in my opinion is the concept of working your mind daily just as you would your body. In order to evolve or enhance our psychospiritual life and have access to its capacities and resources in our daily lives, we need daily practice. When reading our textbook, it states “human flourishing may require an Olympian intensity of effort and practice, we can be well on the road to health, happiness, and wholeness with a far more moderate yet sustained effort” (Dacher, 2006). Research studies have proven that one hour each day adds up and results can be seen. It is just like playing a sport—once you stop practicing, you will typically see a decline in your performance whether it is physical or mental. If we incorporate and practice these daily mental workouts, we may very well have the opportunity to experience human flourishing; living a life full of great health, happiness, and wholeness. Life never made us a promise to be easy; it is our responsibility to make the best out of what we are given. Incorporating these techniques into our daily lives leads to better self-awareness of both mind and body.

I will likely incorporate more of these exercises to calm my sometimes overly restless mind. Due to some really difficult times in my life, I often find myself in a  dark place full of questioning everything and constantly searching for answers that are sometimes very difficult to come by. I have found meditation is very helpful in finding the answers to the things that often cloud my better judgement. I really enjoy meditating and I will definitely continue to find different ways to better embrace Loving Kindness in my daily life.

Quote:

“To reteach a thing its loveliness is the nature of metta. Through loving kindness, everyone & everything can flower again from within.”
― Sharon Salzberg, Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness

 References

Dacher, E. S. (2006). Integral Health: The Path to Human Flourishing. Laguna Beach: Basic Health Publications, Inc.

The Mind-Body Connection Exercise

Based on your reflections, and on a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being optimal well-being), where do you rate your A-physical well-being, B-spiritual well-being, C-psychological well-being? Why?

I would have to say on a scale from 1 to 10, my physical well-being is about a 5, my spiritual well-being is about a 6, and my psychological well-being is about an 8. Overall, I am a work in progress, but I believe everyone is. My physical health has been a continual challenge due to my diagnosis with cancer. Although I am in remission, I have lost my spleen which has put my immune system at greater risk. I also have a blood disorder that led to my diagnosis of cancer, so I have to follow a special diet. I follow the macrobiotic diet to ensure my diet is healthy and leads to optimal physical well-being. I am still discovering my own beliefs and what those beliefs mean to me so I feel my spiritual well-being is still a work in progress. I find myself in a better place mentally, but I know there are still inner demons I continue to fight.

Develop a goal for yourself in each area (physical, spiritual, psychological).

My goal for physical well-being is to continue to maintain a healthy quality of life that ensures myself and my family the ability to get through daily activities without any undue fatigue or physical stress. I want to continue to recognize that all my behaviors have a significant impact on my wellness and that continuing healthy habits such as a balanced diet, exercise, etc. and avoiding destructive habits will lead to optimal physical well-being.

My goal for spiritual well-being is to keep a perfect balance of peace and harmony in my life to lead to optimal spiritual well-being. I feel it is important for me to really figure out what it is I truly believe and what the belief means to me spiritually in order for me to have confirmation that my beliefs are accurate and to then translate my beliefs into action and love.

My goal for psychological well-being is to continue to focus on all the positive things in life and remember to continuously create positive relationships, emotions, etc. Sometimes it can be difficult to remember to be positive, especially when things are not always going the way you planned, but remembering that life itself is a blessing will lead to optimal psychological well-being.

What activities or exercise can you implement in your life to assist in moving toward each goal?

I enjoy Yoga and Pilates. I also really enjoy kickboxing--it helps me release all my anger and tension I may be feeling. I feel these exercises that I have implemented into my life will continue to assist me in moving toward each goal. I also enjoy writing poetry and short stories; these activities keep me relaxed and give me the ability to express myself not only creatively, but emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. There are days when my gut tells me to push myself to the limits. I have the tendency to spread myself way too thin and need to step back and realize there is only so far I can stretch. I have started to practice better time management in order to not feel so spread thin and realize that it is okay to say "No". I do not like to hurt people's feelings or feeling as if I am letting them down, but I have gotten better at realizing that my feelings matter too. I cannot always worry about everyone else and their problems; I am not a psychologist. I need to better manage my own emotions and feelings to be a better person, mother, friend, daughter, etc. I know in my heart that there is only so much my mind, body, and spirit can take. I am a work in progress and I feel learning from my mistakes will eventually help me discover my own secret formula for complete physical, spiritual, and psychological balance.

Complete the relaxation exercise The Crime of the Century. To hear this exercise, click here. Describe your experience. (What it beneficial? Frustrating? etc.)

Honestly, the voice on the relaxation exercise was pretty creepy to me. I am not sure why it was creeping me out, but while trying to relax, I felt this overwhelming feeling of anxiety that made it almost impossible for me to concentrate. It could have been that he was so soft spoken; I am not really sure what it was. The music in the background was calming, but it was hard for me to be completely involved in the exercise because of the voice. It may be because I am use to my own meditation techniques that trying to incorporate something different was causing the anxiety.

Quote of the day:

“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend.” ~Lao Tzu